We Have Arrived, I think…

I think we have finally arrived at our destination.  Not being privy to what my rubber duck smuggling suspect Schatzie Brown is up to, it is impossible for me to tell.  All I know is that we left Richmond, Virginia hours ago heading North on I-95 and now we are at a motel in Buffalo, New York.  That’s right, I said Buffalo.

I need sleep!  I have been awake way to long and have to get some rest or I may end up a statistic in some government traffic accident database.  Fortunately, I have a gps tracker that I can place on the car Brown rented for this trip (unlike me, he doesn’t have a car of his own).  This particular gps tracker is equiped with an alarm that sounds when the tracker begins moving.  If I use the alarm and place a nanodogic security bug on brown’s hotel room door I will be sure to know when he leaves.  It will allow me to get a bit of a dognap I hope.

I will report again when I can.

On The Move

I’m not sure if this is the big move or not, but my suspect, Schatzie Brown, is headed North on I-95 towards DC.  That’s right, we just passed Fredericksburg and I don’t know where he is actually heading.  All I know is that we are going in the direction that DC lies.

Depending on what Brown is up to, it may be a bit before I can get back in contact with you.  I will try to keep up my daily reporting schedule, but cannot promise anything at this point. 

Another Great Info Resource

I really enjoy surfing the net and finding sites that make research easy.  I actually have quite a few places that I tend to steer towards first when I need info.  The website I am about to share with you is one such site.

I really love this site.  My mom has used it for years and swears by it for when she needs stuff that has to do with words, writing, the media, etc.  I like it because of its setup, ease of use, and the vast amount of information that the site guides you too.  I think you will like the site for all of these reasons and more.

Online Public Relations

And by all means, don’t let the name of the site fool you.  It may be geared towards people in Marketing and Public Relations, but it has something for almost everyone that needs information.

Safe surfing!

I Got A Blue Tooth

No, none of my teeth have turned blue. I got a new secret agent gadget today and it is way cool.

As a dog, I need my paws free to walk and do other things.  This makes talking on a cell phone a bit complicated.  Fortunately there is a gadget called a Blue Tooth that makes it easier to talk on your cell phone without using your paws.  Basically it’s wireless technology.  Most everyone knows about wireless technology; the use of remote controls, phones, keyboards, and computer mouses etc.  But Blue Tooth takes your cell phone to a more convenient realm by making it paws free.  For my car, (yes, I have a car) I have a Blue Tooth for my visor and for when I am pawing about I have a Blue Tooth for my ear.

Personally, I like the Blue Tooth for my ear the best.  Due to the fact that I have ears that are floppy and covered with lotsa hairs, it is very hard to see me wearing my Blue Tooth.  The main part of the device is hidden under my ear leather and the curved part that goes over the earlobe on you humans winds up covered by my long hair too.  Which brings me to an interesting phenomenon.  How will we tell who is crazy or sane now that everyone looks like they are talking to themselves when using a Blue Tooth on their phone?

Think about it… You’re walking through the grocery store talking to your wiffy about what she needs you to bring home besides bread and milk when you notice some lady staring at you with a funny look on her face.  You let it slide, but you keep wondering what the lady’s problem was.  A bit later you hear a kid tell his mom, “Hey Mommy!  That guy’s talking to himself.”  Then it hits you square in the brain.  People are seeing you talking and don’t see anyone nearby, a phone, or anything else you might be talking to besides… Yourself.  Ladies and gentlemen, the guy in this scenario has just been labeled crazy.  And so will all of us at one point or another because sometime, someplace, someone will not see us using our handy dandy oh so convenient Blue Tooth.  That’s right folks.  No longer, I say, no longer will you be able to call someone touched, batty, nutty, crazy, or even loony because you think they are talking to themselves.  Why?  It’s simple folks. You won’t be able to call someone those names because you will never again truly know if someone actually is talking to their self.  That person you want to call crazy just may be someone like you and me, talking on his or her phone through his or her Blue tooth.  And I gotta tell you, this all comes out to be a good thing too.  After all, you shouldn’t be calling anybody names anyhow.

Talking Dogs… More Than Just Barking

My mom is reading a book where the protagonist tries to teach his wife’s dog to speak so that he can find out what happened when his wife died.  Mom is just beginning the book and she likes it so far.  I think it is a joke.

I am a dog and I already talk.  I speak to everyone around me be they of the human, animal, or inanimate object variety.  The problem with humans is they get stuck on verbalizing and overlook other forms of talking.  Several humans have figured out body language and how to read someone’s eyes, but most merely rely on moving their mouths to speak to others.  Unfortunately some humans can’t figure out when their mouths need to take a rest.  They fail to listen to those around them. That is too bad too, because those humans miss out the most on what the world is trying to say.

If humans really want to communicate with us dogs, they should begin by seeing themselves as we see them.  Very tall creatures.  It is hard to talk to someone who is so much taller than yourself that you have to strain your neck to see them.  Of course us dogs jump on you, we want to see your face.  When us dogs talk to each other we check each other out completely from head to tail.  All we get from most humans is a view from the knees down depending on how big of a dog we are.  We can’t reach you guys.  Bend down; maybe get on the floor with us, or better yet, lets meet half way. Sit down somewhere where we can join you.  Then you can pet us and we can give you kisses.  That is the best kind of communicating, telling someone you love them.  Everything else will be easier.

Ooh, I gotta go! No, not that kind of “go”.  Mom’s watching animal planet, my favorite TV channel.  I’m gonna communicate with mom that I want to snuggle.

Quack! Quack! Moo!

I was finally able to tail defective cat toy smuggler suspect Schatzie Brown today.  It was a good thing too.  Today may well be Friday the 13th, but good fortune smiled on me today.

I followed Brown to Barker Field Dog Park where he met with two known criminals, Dustin and Razzle Kitman.  Both have been under surveillance since January when they got a shipment of fake catnip mice into several Richmond area catnip bars. Now it looks like they are shipping rubber duckies filled with defective quackers across the James River into Chesterfield County.  If they are able to keep this up the Metro Richmond area may never be able to bathe with a quacking rubber ducky again.  The most horrific part of all is that the defective quackers are being replaced with Mooers.  That’s right.  Richmond rubber duckies are mooing!  Ernie, of Bert and Ernie fame, told the Richmond Dogwatch Dispatch, “I don’t get it.  Why would anyone want to replace Rubber Ducky quackers with mooers?  What is this world coming to?  I can’t sing the Rubber Ducky song with a Rubber Ducky that moos.”

I got a picture of Brown and his cohorts with several of the rubber ducks in question.  You may notice the small yellow fellow in the upper left hand corner of the snapshot attempting to escape.  Rest assured that he was able to do so and is here with me at the safe-doghouse helping me plan the rescue of the other rubber duckies.

I’m In disquise, err doguise

Today I am still caught up in the Mice and Men scenerio.  Spent most of my time down at CSIA HQ and not following the suspect, Schatzie Brown. Sigh, at least I got to spend some time in the Under-the-Covers department and create some doguises for myself.  Now I got a whole stack of clothes and assessories to create enough doguises to be someone different every day of the year.

Boy howdy, but I am a tired pup.  I did a lot of taking on and taking off of clothes, glasses, hats, shoes, etc.  I really enjoyed playing with all the cool stuffs.  I want to sleep now though.  Maybe tomorrow I will be able to follow Schatzie Brown.  I hope so.  I want to figure out this case soon.  I hate having things unfinished.

The Plans Of Mice And Men (Secret Agents too)

…always go awry.

When I woke up this morning I had planned to tail Schatzie Brown again and this time actually try to make contact.  It was to be a big day case wise and possibly a turning point.  As I quoted above, however, my plans went awry.

As I was showering, I received a phone call from CSIA HQ.  Director Hutchinson’s secretary informed me that my presence was requested ASAP.  I rushed around the house looking for my CSIA badge (can’t get into HQ without it and my paw print).  Just when I was ready to blow a gasket, Mom appeared in my bedroom doorway.

“Looking for this?” She said holding my badge in the air and letting it wave like a pendulum.

I glared at her with a dirty dog look, snatched my badge from her, and then ran out of the house yelling “Thanks” behind me.

When I got to CSIA HQ I met with the Director Hutchinson and learned what my assignment for the day was to be.  Biting my tongue, I quietly accepted my assignment and headed downstairs to the computer center.  Turns out my day was to be spent online setting up a website for a company I was to quote unquote “own”.  It seems that I am to act as an online merchant.  UGH!  I didn’t join the CSIA to become a retailer, online or off.  It just isn’t my cup of dog chow. Oh well.  I guess I can sell (cough) cat toys until the Schatzie Brown case is finished.

While I was playing Webmaster, I stole a few moments and set up a blog for myself called “Itsa Cody Quote”.  It is a site that provides one of my personal quotes each day.  Check it out at:

Itsa Cody Quote

All my personal quotes will be posted there from now on.  I hope you enjoy the site.   

I Been Framed!

My mommy saw my new secret agent camera and she framed me.  There I was face down in my food dish eating my dinner (mmm… roast beef, tatoes, and veggies with beefy juice on top) when my mom says “Cody, looky here sweetie”.  I am a sucker for when mama says “sweetie” don’t you know.  Then I was blinded by that light and I hear this “snap”.  Next is mama saying, “what a good boy you are Cody Zambodie” (She has lotsa names for me).   A bunch of “oohing” and “ahing” followed after that as mom and dad laughed at my picture.

Why did mom and dad laugh at my picture?  Look at it.  I am a white dog with brown patches and black ear tips, eyes, nose, and mouth.  In this picture taken in a room lighted by a yellowish bulb I look more white with dirty hairs (Shih Tzu have hair not fur BTW).  My face is the absolute worst of all as I have dinner all over it.

It is all so unfair I am not even in the mood to write a Cody Quote.

I Got It! (Fur Real This Time)

Yeah, I know, I jumped the gun the other day and said “I Got It” when I didn’t have nuttin’ but hot air and a notification from CSIA HQ that I was “to receive” an especially cool secret agent gadget. And let me tell you what! It’s been ruff going these last few days waiting for the man that drives the big brown truck to ring my doorbell and give me my secret agent gadget package. Ah, but never fear! The man that drives the big brown truck has been here.

Every day I checked to see where my gadget was and every day it got a bit closer. While I can’t tell you all the places it’s been (that info is top secret), I can tell you that my package hit Richmond, VA early today and then that really nice man in the brown uniform that drives the big brown truck drove to my den and placed it in my hot little paws. Woo Hoo!

You know, that nice man in the brown uniform really is a nice man. Look what time he picked up my package from the big brown truck distribution center:

July 9, 2007 04:44:00 AM – RICHMOND VA US – Out for delivery

My hot little paws had it at:

July 9, 2007 01:26:00 PM – RICHMOND VA US – Delivered

Dog oh dog, what a long day the brown truck guy has. And I thought my hours were ruff. It is so hot today too. Ninety-something-plus degrees. I heard on the Barkline that those big brown trucks don’t have any air conditioning either. Don’t know if it is true or not, but I wish I would have had a cold bottle of water for him. Something more than the mere “thank you” I gave him.

Sowry, I got on a tangent didn’t I. You want to know what secret agent gadget I got. Well…

I opened the box and the first thing I saw was a double A battery charger. Way cool. I now knew my gadget needed double A batteries and possibly a lot of them since HQ sent a charger. Then I had to dig a bit (good thing I am a dog) through the packaging until I found a smaller box. Now, I can’t tell you what make or model the agency uses to add their secret agent stuff to, but it is a rather popular one. In fact it is rated by Consumer Reports as one of the top Digital Camera’s on the market. That’s right folks the CSIA finally saw fit to give me my first extra special secret agent DIGITAL CAMERA. You know what else? It does other stuff too. I can’t tell you all my new gadget does, but suffice it to say that I can not only take pictures, but I can make videos with sound, temporarily blind someone with a bright light, hypnotize someone with a red flash, put someone into suspended animation at the press of a button, and the best thing of all is that I can place the memory of someone on paper, on SD media, or onto my computer hard drive forever. Cool huh?

Now I just have to learn how to do all that cool stuff.

I am doing a Snoopy Dance. “Oh happy dog!”

“Being covered with hair (or fur) does not mean that all your ideas are ‘Hair Brained’ ones.” ©2007. Cody Barks